hmm i feel like a changed person, life has been like a roller coaster for me. One moment i am at the peak, the nxt i am at the trough. And its at a very high frequency. Haha okay mayb my life is more like a sin curve with a period of 2 days. How i wish it could be a dc offset graph where by i can feel high forever. I can see a change in me, its slowly devouring me as i metamorphosize into something that is similar yet different at the same time. Have been trying not to show my weakness lately, not to think about the future cos right now i can only envision something which is so depressing that it totally ruins my mood. No definite plan as to how i am to achieve my goals, taking each day at a time as i am faced with surprises.
Okay i should stop my madness, lol. I can continue typing lots of unrelated staff with the approximately the same meaning bcos i am so confused right now. At this moment of time the rational part of me is taking control. Oh so that was the creative part of me.... I am starting to sound like a madman now. Hope is like a double edge sword, cos if u hope too much u are blinded from reality and u live a dream world, which is what usually happens to me. Yet without hope, u despair, putting urself down, telling urself that u will nvr make it, which is equally destructive.
Dont know if u all still rmb but i did write about having a crush on someone recently. Anyway the thing is that my friends were telling me to go and know this person more and i was kind of reluctant. I knew that i did not have much chance thus i decided not to think more about it or get to know that person better. I still dont know why i did that, is it bcos i was not confident, or was i too practical and knew juz too well what would have happened, or was it bcos i was afraid to be hurt? Well ppl said the first cut is the deepest, and i somehow rmb that i have been cut b4 when i was quite young. Dont know if it is true or is it juz something i made up in my mind.
Arrhhhh dont know whats wrong with me tonight, i am juz crapping about everything sigh should juz stop writing
li jun wei
take me to a place faraway.
12:17 AM
+ + + + + + + +
