Believez_fantasyworld

2005-12-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

I just did something which as a child i swore never to do. I just broke up with my gf on phone. I feel like a terrible jerk right now. The feelings are justified yet i cant face her and tell her directly. I tried that once and i couldnt bear the consequences. Right now i am feeling empty. What i just did havent sank in yet. Although it wasnt a rash decision. I have done a lot of thinking so much so that i have been feeling guilty for the pass i dont even know how many days. I tried my best thats all i can say. I am sorry for hurting you kelly, i cant ask for your forgiveness. I will always remember the memories. Tomorrow will be a new day. Pls dont give up on love there is still a long way ahead for you. For now i think i will concentrate on my studies. Going to quit astro, going to go back to the loner i once was.

2005-10-08T15:04:00.000+08:00

I see spiderwebs all over this blog haha. When was the last time i actually blog, let me see yup 22nd september. Thats like 2 weeks ago. Many things happened, lots of happy stuffs thats why u dont see me blogging cos i only blog to complain LOL. Been really really busy with school, maple and someone haha.
Sigh my 6 wks holiday has been cut extremely short to juz 1 wk. Everyday there is training, its much worse than school days. My practical skill totally sux. Sigh very demoralised by that fact as 90% of the paper is actually based on practical skills. Despite what our commander says about practical can be trained, i do not see any improvement at all. Sigh i juz hope this vtp pass quickly.
Maple!!! yeah i am addicted to it once again. Haha i am training a spearman now in bootes. Thats the main reason why u nvr see me online anymore this days. Some find it a waste of time, others find it childish, one person is jealous of it and many other things. But its my form of entertaintment. My goal is to reach lvl 50 by my bday, yet i am still stuck at lvl 49 with 19% and i am left with 49k only!! omg spent too much money on my shoes sigh.
As for that someone haha secret. Thats all for today pls visit my blog again nxt month wahahahah. Oh ya b4 i go think i shall write about my results haha.
I think this is my best results bah cos there is only 4 modules and i got 3 AD and 1 A. Yup A for practical cos i sux at it. ok back to maple wahaha. Anyone interested pls add nered at bootes

2005-09-22T20:44:00.000+08:00

Haha many things happened dont exactly noe how it happened, juz know that it happened. Some how we went back to being friends, okay maybe a bit better than friends bah haha. Yup maybe i was too selfish, she needed time to heal so ya lets juz remain the way we are now. Dont feel like changing anything on my blog cos i am lazy haha =p. Kelly rmb to choose one who can give u happiness o. Doesnt have to be me . Its not that i dont have confidence in myself, but if the other guy is able to provide her with happiness and make her laugh, why not? Its juz that i am relatively new to rs dont have much experience haha. Dont want u to be too stressed up by rel problems.
Okay bah better update on what i have been doing the pass couple of days. Went to kelly's chalet on monday night. Thought it would have been quite weird but turns out to be alright. Her class mates were quite friendly and even if they offended me i didnt really notice. Pasir ris park is NOT windy at night, esp around 2. It was very humid and we took a stroll. Still had school the nxt day at 12 sigh.
Talking about school, guess what? 5 out of my 6 weeks vacation has been eaten up by wss again. Sigh anyway i would be spending my time at home playing maple which is not constructive. Theoreotically its supposed to be 9 to 4 everyday, 9 to 12 being theory and 1 to 4 being practical. However as we know that theory and pratcial is always different, i think i would be ending my lessons after 4 everyday. Ended my pratcial lessons today at 6 freaking 30. Haha Really feel like giving up, but no i will preservere bcos it is very good for my resume. I have to improve my pratical!!!
Okay all study and no play makes deren a dull boy. Yeah time to chiong my maple haha. I want to reach lvl 50 by the end of my holidays. Best if i reach 60 but with my busy schedule, dont think it is possible haha. Another goal of mine which is harder is to reduce to 40% Dont know what i am saying? its for me to find out haha.
Love and like is different. U all may not agree with me, but to me like is selfish but love is selfless. However love requires two people while like only requires 1 cos one sided love to me is no different from one sided like. I really enjoyed the time i spent with u cos u brought colour to my life. Oh ya 1 very impt thing, this is not an effort to gain sympathy or to score points!! haha okay maybe to score abit of points but once i write this u will know that i am trying to score ponts so u will deduct points haha. Okay think i shall end here b4 i start writing a long long essay about love crushes and likes. Thanks for reading my blog bye

2005-09-15T18:59:00.000+08:00

haha very long nvr update already... Went out with my dear yesterday to chua chu kang yesterday, dont know what that place is called cause nvr go b4. Met her after my mpi paper at the "lao di fang". Hmm our secret place. Went to sake sushi for dinner, think thats the 2nd time i went there to eat bah. The food was delicious cause dear knew what to pick haha. At least i know what to order nxt time. After that sent dear home den went home myself.
Sigh my exams are almost over, left one last paper, the killer "AEM". Sigh wonder how i am even going to pass it. Going to need lots of luck. Am i destined to be ADless this sem? At least give me a GPA 4 pls! haha okay i am too greedy i shall juz accept whatever results i get work harder nxt sem. Ok thats all bah, will be going out with dear tmr haha have to start planning...

2005-09-08T18:24:00.000+08:00

Went out with dear today to study, actually i am the only one studying while she was playing her com as her exams were over liao. Later we went for lunch(?) which was 2 soups and one potato salad. Dear no need to go on diet liao u are very miao tiao already, muz eat regular meal or else i will worried de o. After that sent her home and went home myself. Currently playing maple, going to study later at mac with si jun and junyang, gotta study more cos i didnt study much this morning haha. Okay back to my game, muz reach lvl 36 tonight. Wont be slping anyway haha.

2005-09-07T21:36:00.000+08:00

7th september is a very special day o. Went partyworld with my dear dear, astro friends and her friends today. Something special happened haha. Happy things should not be written down but kept as memories so i wont say =p After singing, most of them decided to go back home so sent dear home. Dear dear i wont be like the rest, i will cherish u de. So heal now bah, i believe everything u say. Words cant express what i am feeling right now

2005-09-03T23:07:00.000+08:00

Really enjoyed myself last night. Another special night for me to remember. Haha maybe i was acting kind of weird in the beginning cause i didnt know what to do lol. Come to think of it, felt kind of silly acting weird and stuffs, but after a while i kind of return to who i was. Many things happened later and.... haha happy things should be kept in one's memory. As long as u are happy, i will be happy. To chocolate: Let us jia you together bah. Dont care what others say, as long as u are happy thats all that matters.
Wanted to write so much more, but i better stop here.

2005-09-01T17:00:00.000+08:00

Sigh i over slept in the bus today and missed my stop while i was on my way home. Still coughing. Results are out today, i got in the wss top 7. Its both a good news and bad news as i may be able to represent the school for the competition yet 5 weeks of my holiday is gone again. 9-4 everyday from monday to friday sigh.

2005-08-31T20:28:00.000+08:00

Arhh i am about to fall sick soon. Been coughing for no particular reasons i can think of since i havent been drinking any cold drinks. Inadequate slp? Maybe. In a month's time its either happiness or there will be a scar in my heart. I will do my best. What am i talking about? =P secret *shush* Okay better stop here feeling happy and sick at the same time, another first this week.

2005-08-29T19:57:00.000+08:00

Haha felt so stupid that i lost slp last night. Nvm u will remain as a special friend to me. Shant talk much about it ever again. Anyway i format my com today. Sigh its not running as fast as i expect it to but hope i wont lag while playing maple. Yeah maple! I will chiong maple and forget about everything. Cheers

2005-08-28T22:50:00.000+08:00

Many impossible things juz happened in a span of 20 minutes? This is the 2nd time i felt such happiness from the same person. I dont care if u think i am overreacting cos thats the way i am feeling right now or should i say half an hour ago. She asked me if i liked her and i was kind of stunned. I think i was quite obvious or she is quite sensitive or maybe both. I was searching deep down for the courage to say yes and i finally found it after some coaxing from her, although i knew that she had a stead already, i didnt want to lie to myself or her. Her reaction was kind of shy and trying to keep things light which was what i was trying to do. I had so many things to tell her yet i couldnt find the courage? I knew that the moment i said those things there would be a point of no return, something i wanted deep down inside yet my rationality prevented me from saying it. We continued chatting until i found enough courage(which was quite hard after what i had said) to ask her if i had told her i liked her earlier would she have accepted me and she said yes. She went on to say that she used to like me last time and den .... it was like a stab at my heart but i was protected by that special feeling at that time. She said its fate. I dont know if i should agree or not. I will continue to wait .........

2005-08-22T21:52:00.000+08:00

Feeling so lonely right now, i have some good news yet i cant find anyone to share with. Got back my wss test paper and i am happy to say that i got first. Although i juz got a low 68 and i made a few careless mistakes, i am happy that for once i put in all my effort in doing the paper. However who can i tell this to and who would actually feel happy for me? All i can say is that i have no luck with girls.
For once i found the confidence i lost a long time ago to find out that the person i felt connected to was attached. How ironic that she juz got attached 2 weeks ago. Like aik said i should juz wish her happiness if i really like her and i would feel happy myself. I don't know if its true cause right now i feel miserable. I hope she wont get hurt again and that she would live happily ever after with her Vprince. I cant wait for u forever but i will try to wait for as long as possible, after which i know u are truly happy will i move along with my life. I will treasure that one special memory cause thats the only thing that cannot be taken away from me. For now all i can be is your friend only and thats enough for me. I shall try to concentrate on my test tmr...

2005-08-16T14:30:00.000+08:00

Exams are coming. Sigh been slacking in class today. Poned yesterday and today AEM lessons. Dropped ACDSA. I am on the verge of self destruction and there is no way i can turn back. I cant find my spark to start studying, thus i have been slacking. Its a lame excuse no doubt, but i need someone to give me a nudge or anything. Thoughts are useless unless they are turned into actions! No matter what my life has juz returned to normal, as calm as the sea. Yeah ask me to describe the sea and the word that comes to my mind is calm. Its a reflection on the type of life i actually like. Some ppl may say that its boring, but i find it pleasant, especially when the wind is blowing in my face with my eyes close, listening to the waves crashing. The effect can be so hypnotising. How i wish i can go to the sea side one day and stay there till the night, whereby i will be star gazing. Yup come to think of it, the reason why i didnt quite enjoy myself during the overnight star/meteor gazing event was due to the lack of the waves crashing sound and the wind blowing against me. I want to get my hair cut right now, however its the lady boss at the salon right now. I am not a sexist but for the pass 2 times i had my hair cut over there, i didnt quite like it. I find that the man is a better hair stylist.
I want to study, but who can i find to study together, studying alone is no fun. Dont have the right person in mind to ask especially with aik still sick and the rest quite reluctant to study. Sigh my posts are starting to get longer and longer and i am starting to sound nagier and nagier(if there is such a word). K think i shall go and play my game hehe

2005-08-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

I wish i could give up everything juz to live a happy and ordinary life, free from any worries. I wish that my mind wasnt tainted by the evils this world have to offer, of lies deceptions betryal and other horrible things. How i wish i was still young, singing home on the range. No ambitions, no pressure, no schemes, juz saying what u feel like saying and not hurting anyone or being hurt. One can share their love there and no one will be sad or lonely, juz happy.

Unfortunately, such a world can never exsist. Not in my life time at least. That brief happiness i felt has subsided, leaving me addicted to it. Once again my theory has proven me correctly, with extreme happiness comes extreme sadness.

I didnt exactly have a happy childhood, but how can i say i didnt have one if i dont noe whats happiness. Haha isnt it ironic, for all i know i may have been blessed with happiness yet i didnt appreciate it. There have been times when suicidal thoughts cross my mind. I know its not uncommon for ppl, but the only reason why i am not dead yet is A)I am not that stupid as to waste my life away after being brought up by my parents for so long B)I live every other day, hoping to find my true happiness, whereby it will last if not forever at least for a long time.
Its hard for me to escape the dark side now, i want to be honest and speak the way u do, from the bottom of ur heart, without worrying that what u say will be used against u. But all i can do is to admire what u do with such ease while it seems impossible for me to do. I wish u and ur prince everlasting happiness although u wont be reading it.

2005-08-13T11:51:00.000+08:00

Words cant express what i am feeling right now. Its like the way songs describe it, being at the top of the world. All i can say is i juz experienced something which i have nvr experienced b4, a crush that is different from all the others. Although i had many crushes b4, i had nvr went ahead to develope any of them, i dont know if i was shy or whatever reason. However this time, i was not filled with jealousy or hatred or selfishness, all i experienced was happiness. Is this what i have been looking for all this while?
As u all know i am the quiet type who usually does not talk alot or have much to say, yet i managed to talk for i dont know how long last night. We talked about anything under the clouds(yeah there were lots of clouds and i only managed to see one meteor out of the 3 that was viewable). Even if things doesnt work out, i know i have found another friend whom i can talk to. In the mean time i will try to keep these feelings in check and chat more with her.
Oh yar almost forgot to write about the meteor observation thingy. Well we managed to see stars and the view of the moon through the telescope was soo beautiful it took my breath away. Unfortunately, i couldnt look at it for too long as one would get blind. Anyway the sky was very cloudy and we laid on canvas sheets on the school track to observe the meteors. And they say we would be able to watch a maximum of 20 meteors per hour. All we managed to watch was 3 meteors in 4-6 hours. Haha it was like playing lottery, the odds of managing to catch one sight was like one in a hundred. However we still waited patiently juz to get a glimpse of it. In the end our effort paid off and we managed to see a blue meteor. It happened so randomly yet it was so natural, it juz appeared where i was looking at. Mayb thats my lucky "star" and i will be blessed with good luck for the rest of the year. So after that one moment, we continued to wait to no avail. In the end i gave up and went to play cards with the rest. And after that..... secret.
Hope this is not a dream that will be juz a memory when i wake up. I will wait.

2005-08-09T00:17:00.000+08:00

hmm i feel like a changed person, life has been like a roller coaster for me. One moment i am at the peak, the nxt i am at the trough. And its at a very high frequency. Haha okay mayb my life is more like a sin curve with a period of 2 days. How i wish it could be a dc offset graph where by i can feel high forever. I can see a change in me, its slowly devouring me as i metamorphosize into something that is similar yet different at the same time. Have been trying not to show my weakness lately, not to think about the future cos right now i can only envision something which is so depressing that it totally ruins my mood. No definite plan as to how i am to achieve my goals, taking each day at a time as i am faced with surprises.

Okay i should stop my madness, lol. I can continue typing lots of unrelated staff with the approximately the same meaning bcos i am so confused right now. At this moment of time the rational part of me is taking control. Oh so that was the creative part of me.... I am starting to sound like a madman now. Hope is like a double edge sword, cos if u hope too much u are blinded from reality and u live a dream world, which is what usually happens to me. Yet without hope, u despair, putting urself down, telling urself that u will nvr make it, which is equally destructive.

Dont know if u all still rmb but i did write about having a crush on someone recently. Anyway the thing is that my friends were telling me to go and know this person more and i was kind of reluctant. I knew that i did not have much chance thus i decided not to think more about it or get to know that person better. I still dont know why i did that, is it bcos i was not confident, or was i too practical and knew juz too well what would have happened, or was it bcos i was afraid to be hurt? Well ppl said the first cut is the deepest, and i somehow rmb that i have been cut b4 when i was quite young. Dont know if it is true or is it juz something i made up in my mind.

Arrhhhh dont know whats wrong with me tonight, i am juz crapping about everything sigh should juz stop writing

2005-08-06T00:28:00.000+08:00

I dont understand, why does the cycle keep repeating itself. It seems like a curse and i can't stand it anymore. I feel like shouting out loud. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ya mayb the problem is juz me. I was hoping that it would turn out differently but some how history keeps repeating itself. Dont understand what i am saying? haha its alright, its for me to know.

There is a meteor shower observation nxt fri, will be staying over night in school. Cant say that i am very excited about it, more of dreading what is to come. It will pass soon and the same thing will happen again. Lets juz said its fate.

2005-07-30T01:50:00.000+08:00

Yay i am happy and i wont tell u why =P. Looking forward to nxt wk.

Found out why many ppl tend to like the same girl even though that girl is not very beautiful. According to one of my friend, guys can sense some kind of hormone which girls emits? and be attracted to her. Some girls which has more attracts more ppl?

Haha not in the right mind now, hope i can wake up at 9 tmr to play bball.

2005-07-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

Ah this is definitely a bad beginning. Took my acda paper today and guess what, i have already minus 5 marks! That is considered alot to me, but well i think i might have to get use to it. 2 more papers and i dont have much mood to study anything right now. Does my life really revolves around results? Yeah i think the answer is probably yes, so much that i cant handle failure? Life seems meaningless, as a matter of fact, this blog is starting to feel useless. Mainly its due to the fact that i started this blog for the wrong reasons. Its going to be one year soon since i started blogging, as i read my previous posts, there doesnt seem to be much changes in my posts , thus concluding that my life hasnt change much. Has been complaining about how my life sux all this while, i am sure ppl reading my blog is also tired of it already. And all those empty promises to stop doing all this. Well can i stop blogging?

2005-07-15T00:05:00.000+08:00

Is it so hard to be truly happy? How does one define happiness? Would i be happy if i achieved everything i wanted to achieve? There are so many things which i still don't understand and i know there are some things which i may never truly understand. I dont feel secure, i hate it when ppl puts me down. I hate it when ppl makes fun of me in whatever ways whether they mean it or not. Some ppl says that i am sensitive, but i feel like asking them do u like it if i make fun of u, make u feel inferior, make u feel as if u are worse than shit? I am certain no one likes it, so what makes ppl do that? From what i think, its their way of feeling superior, to be above others, although deep down they are juz as weak, vulnerable as we are. Its so hard to trust ppl nowadays, one minute they may be ur friend, the next minute they may be back stabbing u, or gossiping with some other friends about u. Don't even know why i am writing about all this. Voice my opinions? Maybe i am juz hoping some one will correct my thinking, to tell me that i am wrong, that the world is a happier place where ppl leaves in harmony. But lets face it, due to different ideals and thinkings, the world is no longer a safe place. Since the beginning of mankind, humans have been fighting to survive. In the later stages, survival began to develope a different meaning as its the survival of their ideals. We juz have to live with it, there will nvr be an end to our sufferings, there will still be terrorist attacks, children will die of poverty, war will cause ppl to suffer juz so that the government can prove that what they believe in are right. Human greed and selfishness are the cause of all sufferings. However there are some things we can do to help ease the pain. Spread the love to those that need them, do a kind deed, help someone when they need it. Okay i dont think anyone will read everything i have wrote cause i dont read everything ppl writes too.
How i wish i can tell myself oneday that i seek neither fame nor fortune, juz to live a happy life with the ones i love. However i dont think thats possible. Didnt want to write about all these, yet mayb these are the things that have been bugging me all this time, causing me to feel sad and depressed. I want to stay true to myself, to stop running away from all my problems, to face them and solve them, to stop giving excuses for my own actions. But can it be done?

2005-07-09T23:04:00.000+08:00

Sigh another boring saturday, therefore i shall blog bout astro. Yesterday's astro was kind of short cos the year 2s were going to camp at east coast to view stars. Sigh kind of made me regretted not joining astro during my first year. But anyway we went up to the car park to view at stars once again. The sky was cloudy and we couldnt see any stars, so the seniors taught us how to use the planisphere. We were supposed to sit in a group and to give step by step instructions on how it works. However rick asked why do stars blink and our senior jasmine said bcos some one is trying to shoot it so it shan(dodge/blink). Lame right? The correct answer is that stars are v far away from us thus not all its light reaches us due to passing objects such as asteroids etc. When the light passes through the atmosphere, due to refraction or whatever thing, it causes the star to "blink".

A year 3 den passed by and we started to ask him why stars blink and he told us the actual reason and we went on to ask about how stars are born and we learnt about nebulas, black dwarf supernova and black hole. Kind of interesting. After the lecture, we started chatting among ourselves, followed by the using of a telescope. Overall its quite fun, kind of enjoyed the chatting part but its another story haha. K hope my life will be more interesting

2005-07-02T19:59:00.000+08:00

Aww i fell sick again. All the effort i put in to keep fit has went down the drain. Dont know if i should start pointing fingers at ppl whom i think made me fall sick, nah its juz that my immunity system is weak, juz like my com. SPYWARES, VIRUS, i hate u all. Been lagging my com and i juz refuse to format it, juz like me refusing to see a doctor. Haha dont know when i became that stubborn. Nothing much about today though, woke up at 8 went back to slp at 12 and woke up at 5. Falling ill sux.
Anyway went to astro yesterday. What can i say, its better than what i expected, and believe me that things turning out better than expected rarely happens to me. There were lots of freshies, i think around 50+?? Talked to a few of them and realise that there are quite a number of pros in terms of their understanding of stars. Watched a video of how the universe was created, how stars die and how planets are created. It kinds of make my troubles seem so small. Later on we went star gazing at the top of blk 73. The sky was so clear that it was clear of stars. Managed to see jupiter as its the largest planet in our solar system. Viewed it through a telescope and i could see four of its moon!! In short, looking forward to the nxt session of astro club.

2005-06-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

Finally i managed to survive today's maths test, with the help of my friends hehe. We werent exactly copying, juz comparing answers and workings. Anyway the teacher was closing one eye too. So yeah juz hope i dont make that many mistakes....

There is something about horoscope which i dont understand, some how it always seems to be able to read my mind and provide me the answers to my solutions. Some ppl think that its juz some bogus thing which gives general answers, does that mean that i am weak minded? Yesterday was but a memory, tmr is but a dream, so what exactly is today? It aint healthy to keep thinking bout the past, neither does thinking bout the future helps to. My life has no present, mayb thats why it seems so unreal. Some ppl says when u make new friends, u lose old ones. Mayb its juz those that u dont keep in contact with. So to anyone reading this, treasure ur friends and love ones as u will nvr know when the special bond will juz break

2005-06-27T22:52:00.000+08:00

Finally my first test for my 2nd sem. Have been waiting for a long time. However, i dont think i will pass. LOL seriously i ve screwed up my life very badly at this particular moment. But this situation wont last long as i have prepared a schedule to acheive what i want.
Wishlist
1) Good results
2) Grow fitter and do more pull ups (kind of like a jock right?)
3) Interact more and increase my contacts, find a gf?

Seems easy to achieve right? Nah it requires lots of will power and determination, something i dont have. Sigh well back to the fundamentals of all success, take baby steps. Easier said than done since i am so unreliable. Imagine if u cant even trust urself, how do u expect others to trust u. LOL.

4) Change my character and be more reliable

Well i shall try my best. First of all i shall try to at least pass my test tmr by studying. As for the growing fitter part, it means exercise, exercise and more exercise. Target is to achieve 5 pull ups and 50 sit ups per day by the end of this wk. Last time i tried was 4 pull ups and 40 sit ups.

As for the third wish, i find it the hardest as there are no fix formula and i am the weakest in that area. Sigh cultivating social skills are a hassel to me. Mayb thats why i prefer to keep quiet and let the rest do the talking. Nah have to change my mentality or i will be the one suffering. Was joking bout the gf part though. After listening to my friends about the financial costs and time consumption required to mantain a rs, i ve decided to leave everything to fate. I aint desperate, juz curious.

Finally found a cca that i may join. That is astronomy club. I am still confuse between astrology and astronomy although one is the studies of the stars and their relations with our daily life while the other is juz the study of stars. At least in that way i can fulfil one of my interests which is to gaze at stars. Although it aint by the beach, its still acceptable. Ok think thats it for today, better revise on one more chapter before i go to slp. Come on ppl, baby steps.

2005-06-26T12:06:00.000+08:00

happy>bored>lonely>dao>sad basically thats my mood during the entire week. How i wish ppl could be happy forever but without the sad times, one would not be able to appreciate the happy times. Currently feeling down, dont have the mood to study although i have a test on tuesday. Negative thoughts keep crossing my mind. There are so many things i have yet to accomplish, i want to be honest and juz say whats really on my mind, yet i noe that not all ppl really listen to what others say. Furthermore i wouldnt like to offend ppl as some ppl can be really sensitive. i am having a bad day, things dont go my way, i wish this all away.

2005-06-11T08:42:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i blogged, everything seems to have changed. Continuing on this journey of self discovery as i struggle with all the extra work load. Sigh i am starting to hate school now adays since every weekday is a long day. Not much time for any other things.
Don't want to bury myself in school work like what i did last time, after all its juz escaping from reality. So many questions in mind yet i have the answer to none. Cant seem to help ppl solve their problems either. could this be due to my own problems? Life isnt what i envisioned it to be since i was young. Mayb its bcos i am constantly comparing my life with my brother, trying to win him and not make the same mistakes as him. Although we werent close, he was my role model and i tried to be like him or should i say win him. Moulding my world such that it looked like his. Mayb thats why i dont have a sense of identity when i was young.
Starting to wonder what a blog is for. Someday i will juz look at what i have written and laugh at myself for all the stupid things i have done, whatever sad times and happy times i had. Seeking a way to end everything perfectly yet i find none, so i shall end it here

2005-05-27T20:49:00.000+08:00

Reality sux, mayb i shouldnt even think at all since most of the time what i think is so far away from the truth. Haha kind of miss the oldself when i lived in a blur world, oblivious to things happening arnd me. Should i say i feel sad right now? Mayb a little and i lost a bit of confidence and i feel extremely stupid right now. I even have to beware of what i type bcos i am like an open book, so easy to read. I even sux at lying.
Is this what my life is going to be? i refuse to accept it as the way it is, yet i lack the courage and skills to turn it all around. Have i tried my best? Cos if it is den i totally sux. How i wish life is like a game, where by u can save at any point and restart if u do not like the outcome. There are so many things i want to change about my life, yet all i can do is to recount those incidents and wonder what would have happened if i made a different choice. I think its time i stop believing in fate and destiny and all those other crap. I am a perfectionist and i will live with being inperfect. However nothing is going to stop me from trying to get as close to perfection as possible. To those reading this out there and laughing to urself thinking how superior u are, take note this aint gonna last forever. One day i will live the life i truly want and this is the moment when things will start to change gradually......

2005-05-24T23:09:00.000+08:00

woo hoo first day of school as a yr 2 and its a 2 hr lesson only. So i was quite excited u noe, why i do not know. Anyway went to watch star wars episode 3 today with derrick, sj, aik n his gf. I still think that ep3 is better than 1 and 2 although rick doesnt think so, nvm everybody have their own views. So after dinner we went home.
Looks like i have really surmarised everything into a short short paragraph, hehe. Oh yar one more thing some one actually appologised to me for something which i was in the wrong , lol. In the end i didnt know what to say or how to say that i cant b bothered to rack my brain to think of something to say. Haha anyway i think its juz that that person is guilty over me being scolded but well its still my fault. K dont think that person even know me at all not to say my blog.

"I tried to forget all that had happened yet you chose to remind me"

2005-05-23T00:45:00.000+08:00

Just saw "a beautiful mind". Have been wanting to watch that movie since my sec 3 physics teacher talked to us about it. All i can say is that its a nice show which sets you thinking about whats real and whats not. Certainly changed my perception on mental patients. Imagine if u had a friend for like 5 years and then u found out that he was unreal, created by your imagination. hmm.....

Anyway have been watching lots of movies this few days and another thinking movie was vanilla sky. So guys nxt time if anyone says u look like tom cruise from vanilla sky, it isnt a compliment.
Looking forward to star wars episode 3, should have watched it by myself on thursday when it juz realeased juz like what i did during ep 2 but i think its better to watch it with my friends. k i seriously dont feel like talking right now, so chill

2005-05-20T11:03:00.000+08:00

Back from FOP/FOC. If u are wondering what was that it is freshman orientation programme and camp. Anyway, i was too tired(lazy) to blog as i juz came back last night and i have been slping a total of 6 hours for the past few days. With some reverse psychology, i managed to deceive myself into writing hehe.
So the fop was quite fun as i get to look at all the freshies and recall my days as a freshy. Most of them had this blur look as if not knowing what to expect while others were quite bored. Managed to play some games with them although some groups were quite enthu while others were like sooo quiet. Although the camp was meant for ECE students (which include BME and INC), i think there were only 4 or 5 ECE helpers while the rest were BME students for the camp. How pathetic can that get. Thus we were kind of being eaten up by them and they won most of the prize. Bcos of this camp, i missed 2 epsiodes of my anime!!!!! (one of last night as i was too tired to watch and fell asleep while watching inuyasha half way)

Okay think i shall not say much about the camp since good memories should be kept to ourself. So school is about to start and i am still wondering if i should take up the additional 2 modules which could benefit me next time when i am applying to enter NTU. Advance engineering maths is a muz, however i am not too sure about advance C programming since i am not much into computer programming despite being in computer engineering. The big trouble lies in the fact that i can take up both modules together but the work load will be v heavy, almost equivalent to that of jc since i have 4 core modules + wss training + this 2 modules which according to my seniors is extremely hard. Although i have some idea on what i am suppose to do, the thought of lacking that extra endorsement module which could reflect quite well on me when i go for an interview erks me. Hope someone can tell me what to do. Sigh confuse.

2005-05-14T01:23:00.000+08:00

back from chalet hehe. Anyone missed me? okay that is a crappy line. Anyway i am v tired right now so i shant blog much. Juz been reflecting about lots of things recently such as how to keep a conversation going. Seems to me that i lack social skills. During the chalet, the only common topic we have is like school work..... --""" Am i all grown up already? hehe mayb not.
Yar i kind of feel like a kid depending on others during the chalet. To a certain extend i can say that i came back being more aware of my faults. Sigh school is gg to reopen soon and countless possibilities awaits me. Yeah its always better to be optimistic so lets welcome a brand new day ppl.

2005-05-09T21:51:00.000+08:00

Counting down to my "exams" tmr. Why pressure myself when i dont intend to study. It has reached a point of time where only a miracle can save me. And as that person said :"i dont believe in miracles", i think mayb i shouldnt depend on luck. Which leaves me with one option that is to fail. I have this feeling that tmr exams will not be as tough as what most of us expected and thats why most of them should be able to do if they had studied. On the other hand i studied only about 3% of what is covered? Sigh how i wish that when i look at those qns somehow with my past experience i can be able to do those qns.

Well i was supposed to study today, however there was a freshman orientation briefing and i ended up bringing my books for nothing. Kind of wasted my time although some scenes keep running through my mind. Maybe i can classify those as false hopes..... The kind i like to conjure or should i say fantasise. Mayb thats why sometimes i cant differentiate btw me fantasising and really picking up signals. My mind is in a whirl at a time like this when i am suppose to be thriving to excel or at least survive. I need motivation but its too late at a time like this. Mayb the only thing i can do now is to say i will work harder nxt time. This will be the starting pt for another sem and its better to have a positive attitude or should i say correct attitude den a wrong one. Well think i better get some rest and hope for the best.

I believe in miracles.

2005-05-09T00:52:00.000+08:00

Well i came with a speech prepared but somehow or other due to some delay, i may miss out some things which i meant to say. Well as u all know yesterday was mother's day so happy mother's day to all mothers. Since i believe none of u are mothers den juz treat it as some publicity stunt to show fillial i am :P. Anyway this morning after being woke up by aik chong in the morning i gave my mom her present and went off jogging. Okay since yesterday is a long day, i shall let aik chong continue my story. So ppl if u are interested in what happened please go to aik chong's blog at http://sporekid.blogspot.com/ if u are mentally challenged or juz too lazy to figure out the answer(like me), its a p in front and a p behind with an a in between. Pls use caps. If u would like to read some love story u can also read the rest of his blog but i warn u its very very long.

Okay so first i would like to clarify that enthu on my part is not desperation. Its juz that i feel v high and feel like doing all kinds of crazy stuffs. Okay that being written i can finally overcome that mental block. Since i was young, somehow whenever someone or me try to talk too much or do something, i always have this misconception that i or anyone else is being desperate. I have no idea how i came up with this but along with all my other weird thinkings, think it could have been related to some sad experience when i was young and i couldnt remember, leaving me so traumatised that my mind refuses to let me remember. Okay mayb i should juz admit i have short term memory. so back to the topic, with that cleared, i will try not to care bout what others think of me and i will try not to judge others anymore. I noe this is definitely an uphill task since man are sensitive creatures, so mayb i will try not to be affected so much.

Secondly i believe in privacy (i dont care if anyone is reading it cos if someone out there is saying do u think i want to read, obviously u are reading it). I noe there are no secrets on the web but since i am really gg to post my real feelings rather den juz some shallow things juz for the sake of blogging, keep this in mind, anything u want to say say it to me, i will either take it as a man or buy a shot gun and blast ur head off.

By the way, i really hate it when ppl starts saying things such as do u think i care, cause it seriously piss me off. I am sure everyone is pissed off. And there are some ppl who treats certain ppl like shit while they treat others like god. Those ppl are so shallow, trying to act complex and all. Well u noe what, i am sick and tired of being treated with contempt as if i am some piece of shit who isnt worth to be ur friend. Someday ppl like these will be friendless. Actually they wont, they will still have friends its juz that they wont be ur true friends except for those whom u treat better. But mark my words sooner or later they will find out ur true self and u will walk the earth alone.

Finally i feel so much better after writing out all my thoughts? So a blog is useful after all. By the way ppl i am only writing about one guy so if u think u are that guy, ask me and u shall noe hehe. K so i am really full of crap ^^

2005-05-03T00:22:00.000+08:00

My com kana some kind of virus or ad ware or whatever thing that is. Pop outs keep appearing on my com with some stupid search engine running. I feel damn irritated.

Okay enough of the irritating stuffs, my friend aik chong is going to "propose" to his sweetheart. Isnt that so romantic? hehe anyway wish him good luck and that all things go well. Feel so xing fu for him since i rather not be jealous, juz waiting for my destiny....

seriously, i was about to write alot of stuff about how happy i am about my buddy finally being happy, but well u know how things work, things juz dont work the way u want it. So nitezz.....

2005-04-27T21:07:00.000+08:00

Seriously i have no idea what i should be feeling right now. Okay in case u are curious bout what happened, this was what took place 2+ hours ago......

Today's pratical was like the one b4, breathing in 6 hours of solder fume while soldering some board in 1 day while we were doing something similiar but much easier for 3-4 weeks? Anyway once again my board couldnt work blah blah blah no mood to find the problem and rectify it since wires were poking out from my solder joints in all angles. Anyway after class, we went to play the long awaited(for me only) badminton game.

We started playing at 4 and they werent as pro as i expected.... So i was quite confident while playing with most of them. Then around 6 2 girls came in. Wasnt paying much attention as i was playing matches after matches with my friends, winning by arnd 15-6 or so. Juz as i was playing with another friend, the 2 of them came over and asked if we wanted to play with them. Come to think of it, why did i agreed? There must be a motive for them to invite us to play right? Mayb i am kind of shocked cos this is the first time. What was i thinking.

Okay so we went over and immediately they started a match. Come to think of it, mayb i was thinking how hard it would be to play against 2 girls. Man and their egos...... sigh. I am sure by now u should be able to guess what happen. We were thrashed 15-0, 2 games. And it was like we didnt even hit the ball in their court!!! Most of the time service over was due to them hitting the ball out or net. In short we were totally humiliated...... As usual when man lose they start to blame everyone but him. So i had a blister on my thumb, played for around 2 hours, no cooperation with my temporary partner, he was not that good, blah blah blah. But the fact still remains that their skills were at least one lvl above ours. After the match, i found out that they were in the school badminton committee and is in the school team.

So the moral of the story is, dont be too complacent, dont look down on girls, treat them equally.
Putting water is another thing. My ego is bruised......

2005-04-25T22:56:00.000+08:00

AH!!! I hate pratical... This week is all about pratical and based on today's performance, i seriously dont think i have any talent in praticals hehe. Sigh juz hope i can do better tomorrow.
Been really bored recently so my mind wondered.... and out of nowhere, i realised that i have only 2 kinds of facial expressions most of the time. Its either the stupid look which makes ppl think that i am from ite or the dao look which makes ppl feel turned off, hehe okay so i am really bored and lonely right now....

2005-04-21T17:20:00.000+08:00

Sigh finally got back my results, although it isnt that gd yet i cannot say that i am extremely disappointed. Haha i cant expect myself to be getting extremely good grades if i am not putting in alot of effort, sooooo lets juz say that u reap what u sow.

AEL-AD
ACCA-AD
PP2- A+
EM3-A+
EPS2-B+
IAC-B+
OCOM-B+
S & W-PX

K so my IS modules have not been that good, however i am kind of surprise that my oral communication skills could get a B+ as i was expecting a C?? Wasnt that prepared that day...
So its kind of alright for me since my core modules is 2 AD and 2A+.... ah dont want to think about it. Try harder next year ;0

So today was quite a fun day since we were celebrating one of our classmates birthday. Our teacher gave us a 2 hr lunch from 11.30 to 1.30 therefore we went to have KFC followed by pool. By the time we finished our pool it was 1.35?? As we rushed back to class, 7 of us went to buy a cake for our friend kevin and made it back at 2+ lol. We were kind of like sian zhan hou zhou as we didnt tell our teacher we were gg to celebrate ^^; So i think beside the birthday boy being stunned when we greet him happy birthday , our teacher were kind of stunned too;p. Well nothing much happen after that juz pictures pictures and more pictures, hope they put some of the pictures up on friendster. Wonder how tmr bball match in school will be like.....

2005-04-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

What goes up must come down. Okay i am making it sound too bad, well i am juz kind of tired these few days from trying too hard. At least my thinking has changed and i am not afraid of being frank about what i think although i dont spare as much thought for other ppls' feelings as i used too. Maybe being confident has such an effect on you.

School continues tmr and i am thinking of hiding back into my shell. At least i dont have to talk that much which uses up alot of energy ^^
Although i havent made full use of the weekends, it wasnt a total waste of time either. Went out with cs kc and sj today to watch the pacifier. Mayb i am starting to have high expectations for everything such that i didnt find it v gd, but juz an average movie which i would forget about a couple of weeks later. After that we took a train to china town where we had our dinner. I recalled how i used to spend my time here waiting for my mom to buy those herbs and how i used to get scolded by my mother even though i havent even touch anything at all... She would always go dont any how touch or the uncle will scold you. Mayb its why i hate china town? lol

Anyway after dinner, we WALKED to the esplanade. Cant rmb whose idea it was but it isnt as bad as u think. Watched a couple of performance and finally returned home.

K time to slp or else i wont be able to wake up tmr morning sigh....

2005-04-13T19:02:00.000+08:00

I am high right now! Nvr knew i could be so sociable. Okay if u are wondering what i am saying, lets recap. Remember the quiet dao cool anti social depressing deren? Well some how he packed his bag and left and a new deren arrived. Been talking much much more to my classmates. Lets hope the new deren is here to stay :D

Been busy the past couple of days with the training and guess wat? I actually enjoyed it! Well mayb its bcos our dcca teacher is v gd at teaching. Our entire class were engrossed in the 21 challenging qns and i can see that many of them have improved tremendously. Lets just say they can absorb things extremly fast if they understand them. Unfortunately our dcca teacher's session is over and next up will be del. Lets hope the del teacher is gd at teaching too.

K think i better get back to what i was doing hehe........

2005-04-10T21:42:00.000+08:00

Omg i got stm a.k.a short term memory. I wrote around half the page before i realised that i have written on how inconsiderate some ppl are. So i shall write about something today. Okay that was not funny.

For no apparent reason, i woke up this morning (actually afternoon to be exact) and felt the urge to be nice to ppl. Okay so i admit that i am usually not nice to ppl cos for dono wat reason it felt man to me. Okay this actually shows how many misconceptions i have such as girls usually like handsome rich and funny guys. Not that they dont but most do not have such high expectations. Or were my friends lying to me ..... who knows since i cant read women minds like mel gibson.

so i went to play bball wif cs and his friends. Omg played with alot of pros today and i was out of stamina during the 2nd match. This shows i have to start to train my stamina. Anyway the gd thing was that we won around 5 consecutive games and i felt that its best to end my day on a high. So cs came to my house and we talked about our sch and stuffs such as how poly lecturers sux and how we feel guilty for taking our sec sch teachers for granted etc.

Okay i feel kind of blur now. Think i shall stop now.

2005-04-07T18:29:00.000+08:00

okay so lets make it official, derrick's advice sux big time. I am sure sj agrees with me hehe. What does he mean by closing your eyes and type what you want to say. Apparently he missed out the think before you type part. Sigh, feel so embarassed now for asking stupid question.
Today was a killer. Should be is since the day aint over yet. Feeling v stressed up after 6 hours of intensive training. Okay not exactly intensive since it was like 2 hours of listening and 4 hours of day dreaming/waiting for time to pass quickly. Should i blame myself or the lecturer for not understanding what he is saying? LOL of course i should blame myself although the entire class did not understand too. To be fair he did put in some effort in trying to teach us. Got back another WSS test. A disappointing 26.5 out of 50 although only 3 ppl pass and im the highest. Sometimes i do wonder how np is gg to compete wif the rest of the poly, hai.... Once again jj isnt happy that i won him by 0.5 marks this time, LOL. Then he took my paper and search for mistakes and luckily for him this time, he spotted that mr l gave me 2 marks for 1 qn and he got only 1 mark although our answers were exactly the same. So there he goes bugging me the rest of the day saying how unfair it is despite me telling him to tell the teacher about the mistake if he is not happy, like i care. K enough of tt. So another day pass and another not so embarrassing moment for my archive of embarrassing moments. Well feel so alive right now. Think i shall go work out or find a place to hide my head. ^^"

2005-04-03T23:20:00.000+08:00

FLASHBACKS. Don't you just love that word? For some reason i've been haunted by past memories lately and i am not even sure if it is real or not. At least i finally found out how i changed from the rowdy deren to the quiet guy i am now, or that is what i think. Something childish made me swore to be quiet until some one realised something was wrong with me and asked me what is wrong. However that some one never appeared....

There are times when i ask myself if i am being nice to someone because i want to or have to. Is life just an act for me that i can never find the real person behind the mask? Whenever people ask me to be myself, i ask myself who is the real deren? My heart is filled with hatred, i hate my name and i hate myself although people always say you shouldn't hate yourself.

Omg i just witness my own mood swing -.- . Somethings are juz best kept to yourself. Btw i will try to get my tag board up asap. Ppl pls do leave ur comment to remind me who are the peeps in my life

2005-04-02T08:57:00.000+08:00

Quite alot happened over the pass few days, firstly....EXAMS ARE OVER YAY. Okay the last paper was not exactly easy. It was quite challenging and for once, i felt happy that the paper was challenging. It made me nervous and i liked the feeling that for once i was not in control of what im doing. Ok im not psycho or crazy, juz tt i need to teach myself a lesson for not studying and this was the perfect opportunity. Mayb when i receive my results and my pp get a B or C den i will not take things for granted, for now juz celebrate watever holidays i have b4 i start studying again on monday for the test which is supposed to be many times harder than my exams. Sigh.

Did something crazy yesterday. Okay not exactly crazy but crazy enough for me. Stayed up whole night pqing and training my warrior from lvl 23 to 28. By the time it was 12 pm on fri, i had already memorised wat buttons to press and was half dead. After that went down to buy my lunch then i hit the bed. Nxt thing i know my phone was ringing and ching si was asking me to play bball. I was like yar sure.... den wait a minute im suppose to be slping so i said cannot make it den i returned to lala land. Suddenly my mom asked me to wake up b4 the food turn cold and i was like i juz return to slp onli. When i looked at my clock, it was already 8 pm.... time is a mystery.

So nothing much happen after tt and here i am in the morning wondering wat to do when its raining so heavily. Later gg to celebrate alex and pei shi bday. Wondering wat they have planned... hope i dont doze off =D. k back to maple

2005-03-29T13:26:00.000+08:00

Exams exams exams exams..... so boring, sigh. Made a stupid careless mistake yest during my ael exams. If it was last time, i would be scolding myself upside down and i will not be able to forget about it for wat, 1 week?? Well this time, i was like do i even care and u stupid idiot. At least half of my old self is still here. Yar come to think of it, im starting to change, for better or for worse. The nice deren is half gone, trying to act all bad blah blah blah, blah blah blah.

Less competitive, juz as gui lan. Oops did i say tt. Ever heard the song invisble or invisible man, well i feel juz like tt. Im gg nuts at its not bcos of exams. Well mayb partially. Watched 2 movies yest again. Think its 1 and a half since i onli watch van hellsing half way. U got serve was cool as i saw those ppl do all those cool break dance move. Wish i knew how to break dance... sigh.

Should be studying my acca now, however still lazing arnd. Think there is a problem wif me, im always slacking during the exam period. Its not tt im confident or wat, juz .... ive no idea too. Im contradicting myself, am i?? Ah no mood to blog, juz wan to fade away, am i gone already???

2005-03-27T22:23:00.000+08:00

i think something is really wrong wif me, watched 2 movies today again. Dodge ball and another chinese movie which i dono the title. Seems as if im seeking death or trying to find out wat my potential is by not studying and gg for my exams. Well... think is seeking death lol. No point telling ppl tt cos they wont believe, most of them think im some kind of crazy mugger who has no life besides MS which is oso equivalent to no life. Well for ur info, u are onli half correct and its not the mugger part.

Thinking of picking up basketball again to hone my skills and achieve my life long ambition of dunking. Not exactly life long, only after watching guan lan gao shou (slam dunk) which is arnd sec 1 or 2?? However as i have grown too tall, im quite afraid to grow and taller being satisfied wif my current height of 183. Juz need the build now and i will have achieve my ideal physique.

Sigh wish for my exams to end quickly, however the 3 weeks after tt will be worse. Having tried those qns b4, im sure that they will be twice as hard as the exam qns if not harder. Mayb tts why they have to offer a prize money for those who come in 1st, 2nd or 3rd for the training countless tests. Wonder how much is up for grabs b4 i make a decision to chiong anot haha
k think i blog till here too many ppl asking for songs liao. ciaoz

2005-03-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

V distracted at this moment, exams are like nxt wk starting wif ael on monday, acca on wednesday, pp2 on thursday and im still watching movies. Make that 5 in 2 days, looks liked im screwed lol. Watched the fast and the furious too fast too furious, kung fu hustle, final fantasy and final destination. Well when i dont have the mood to study, there is nothing i can do(actually i can force myself to study, however lets juz say im a slacker).

Anyway i will really have to force myself to study by hook or by crook even if i were to study juz for an hour. Well quality over quantity, im an adult and i have to be responsible for my decisions.... nah, better enjoy wats left of my adolescence(age 12 to 18). Dont noe why i start to miss her.... mayb its bcos we hvnt talk for a long time?? Anyway its not tt i like her or anything, juz feel the friendship starting to slip away. Only time will tell.

Oh yar went out yest to study or should i say chatting wif my frens, den went to play pool where i actually won a couple of games despite not playing for wat, a year? Den aik chong came to my house for dinner followed by a movie, den went to sj house to stay overnight, for more details refer to aik's blog. K think its time for me to slp *yawn*

2005-03-23T20:31:00.000+08:00

Feel so calm right now. Aint thinking bout nothing, juz chilling out at the same time being food for the mosquitoes. Tmr will be the big day, EM3 exams and after that 1 sub down. In terms of preparation, well juz did one past yr exam paper and thats all. Mayb i shall go through all my careless mistakes tmr on the bus. Think i shall go play ms hahaha...

2005-03-20T22:43:00.000+08:00

Wanted to blog yesterday one, however no energy yesterday. Well kind of out of energy today too, however got too much on my chest not to write. Was writing this half way when i was bugged by a number of ppl. Seriously why cant some ppl juz try doing the stupid web tutorial by themself and have to bug others for the answers?? Omg i m toking bout myself cos i juz did tt b4 someone did tt to me. Haha looks like wat goes around comes around.

Went out to celebrate derrick's birthday in advance yesterday with aik chong si jun warren me and of cause derrick. Went kovan to eat and play arcade before we head to ps to watch the movie "hostage"?? or is it some other movie. Anyway there wasnt any other interesting movie available since boogeyman was lame, as said by sj, den sponge bob square pants was out of the qn, son of the mask didnt seem appealing to me and warren. So we sticked to the NC 16 show. OUTRAGES!!! How could they ask for our IC??? Did we really looked like underage young kids trying to watch some NC 16 show?? Felt insulted especially when im about to turn 18 this yr. Well there goes my plan to sneak into a M18 show. Wonder if they go by the year or month?? Anyway hostage was quite a boring show. Abit suggestive esp the car incident and a teeny weeny bit funny. Wats the plot? An ex negotiator who indirectly cause an innocent young boy to die due to a failure in his negotiation skills. Since den this incident will haunt his conscience forever. Den there is this extremely rich family consisting of a young boy, teenage sis and filthy rich father who is dealing in some shady business which involves extremely rich ppl who can aford to hire the FBI, or are they FBI themselves. Anyway the 3 delinquent teenagers barge into the family house to *think innocently* steal something, *think dirty* rape the daughter. Surprisingly with their high security those intruders can juz climb over the gates and enter without anyone noticing. I mean since they are so filthy rich, why dont they juz hire a body guard??? Well there is no story without a loop hole. So after many scenes of death and gore, its finally over. Those who want to know the ending go waste ur 8.50 and find out, hahaha evil me. So after that it was around half an hour of discussion b4 we choose to go home. End of day 1

Day 2 a.k.a today and derrick's birthday
Woke up at 11, play ms den derrick called me to tell me that we were gg to kovan to play pool. After tired of being punctual for 17 yrs, i decide not to rush and when i reached there it was 2.37. Haha there are ppl worse than me so doing this once in a while wont hurt anyone, jking. It turned out that we were gg to play bball since sj was playing with his frens. Took us around half an hour to an hour b4 we found the place. There si jun introduce us to his three frens cherlyn, celestine and omg i forgot the guy's name. haha dont blame me, its not that i only remember girl's name, its juz that i dont remember chinese name. They were quite unique although si jun find them chio. Mayb chio ppl looks unique to me?? haha not too sure. While watching them play, i decide to join the other young boy at the other court. When i ask him if we could play together, he said no!!! Omg i got dao by a young boy, so sad. After they had their fun playing abc, they decide to invite us to play a match.(okay im making them sound as if they did not care about us but in actual fact they were really friendly). So it was 3 on four. However after a while, the young boy arnd 9 or 10 yrs old ask if he could join in. The guy said yes and we continued. Later on, for no reason the boy said he hate me the most. Awhhhh, that is so sad. Cant remember wat he said since i was filled wif sadness. However sj was not far off as he was the 2nd most hated person behind me. So cute right?? haha pesky little kid saying he hate me when i like kids so much. Nvm i shall forget about it.
After this, we went to pasir ris park to cycle. Ppl present was derrick me sj aik chong rick brother since i dono how to spell his name lol and rick's god sis since i dono wats her name. Took us a long long time and lots of walking b4 we found a bicycle shop. Oh yar btw, b4 we found the shop, i tried asking a young boy where he rented his bicycle from. He actually dao me. Omg being dao 2 times by young boys in the same day. Do i look so bad that young kids hate me??? sigh nothing i could do, i was born looking like this anyway so i should feel proud of myself since i look unique. Lesson to others, if u feel that u look ugly or u juz hate the way u look, think it this way, u were born this way and there is nothing u can do (except plastic surgery) which i find it a waste of money and not being true to urself. If a person cant accept you for the way you are, i will call him shallow as one should care about inner beauty. You may think this is crap of PR but, yar u can choose not to believe wat im saying haha.
Oh yar back to where i was, we went to cycle for 1 hr where many ppl got lost including me. Finally went it was over, derrick's parents treat us to dinner. Wah they were so generous, thank you derrick. Oops i forgot derrick dono about my blog. haha nvm mayb buy him a belated birthday present if i remember. A small token of my appreciation.
Okay aik chong this time im sure my blog entry is longer than yours, hahaha since i havent see your yet. Think after such an exciting or should i say tiring weekend, i can stay at home for the nxt few weeks. Nah jking anyone want to invite me out can still do so. Will try my best to make it. K feel v v tired now time to slp

2005-03-16T22:04:00.000+08:00

My tag board isnt working?? haha think i will repare it some other day =P. Today lesson was like a waste of time since teacher was just going through qns over and over again. My frens are on the verge of hysteria as they try to finish their 2 projects while im still slacking although the pp project dead line is this fri midnight. Too bad cos my partner is still in malaysia or should i say i think so. Wonder how my pp2 is gg to fare, wonder if i can even get a A. Found out that i am a lousy teacher, stupid shy guy and quiet no confidence guy. Should not write so many negative things about myself, however today will be the last time im gg to write something negative. About the lousy teacher part, as usual my teacher was smoking us with the maximum uncliped signal using the ac or dc load line. So my frens were asking me what he is talking about since i could solve the problem and after explaining to them, they still didnt know what i was talking about. Makes me wonder how i can solve the question in the first place. As for the shy part, i am still wondering when will be the day when i can talk to girls face to face as if i am talking to boys. Couldnt even bring myself to explain to my classmate who was a girl as i try to distract myself by explaining to the boy. This is what happens when a shy guy attends 7 years of boy school with almost no contact with girls. I will be having an ael test tmr and, as usual i havent study. However this time it will be different cause im sure i wont be able to score since there are still many doubts nagging me and it is suppose to be very tough although my teacher keep telling us that it is easy. Still waiting to fail a test horribly so that i will stop lazing around and put in all my effort.

tip for the day(guys only)
ways to boost confidence:
1) Make Eye Contact With Others
2)Smile, Be friendly and Outgoing
3)Stand Up Straight

2005-03-15T15:31:00.000+08:00

Juz got back my test 2 today for acca and i got 66.66%. Dono if i should feel ashame for it or should i be proud as im the highest in class, the second being 61% and we are the only 2 person who pass. LOL. At least we know wat the wss standard is and how far away we are from reaching our goal. Dont really know if i should take part in the wss. Btw its world skill singapore, a competition which..... actually i dono wat the competition is about haha. Will i actually disgrace myself when i take part in it? The only thing i like about being in this group is that i have an extremly large locker hahaha. Besides that i think i would have quit long ago.
I was so lucky as to be in the same bus with 3 of my frens when i came to school, derrick being one of them. So we talked about the usual stuff which is ... ms??? kind of no life right. Slacked during pp lesson and acca. After lunch was my ael lab test. Didnt study for it den almost couldnt get the reading for the last part cos nvr put to ac. Wonder if my teacher will minus away my marks...
This sun will be derrick's bday. Wonder how we are going to celeb wif him if he gg to church??? Wonder wat prank should i play on him hahaha... Btw aik if u r reading this remember to include my part if u are buying any gifts, unless u are sharing wif ur gf den dont bother to include my share.

2005-03-14T11:21:00.000+08:00

Exams are coming yet i dont feel anything!!! AM i really that gone case? Maths is nxt wed and it doesnt bother me a bit. I cant work without stress. Right now trust, justice and fantasy has been swirling in my head as i have read too much fantasy books... I wish i could get myself out more often, but some how i havent went out for 2 weeks??? or longer except for gg to sch. Wish someone would organise something and invite me.... sigh.
Some how i am starting to think too much again. Used to think alot during secondary school, wondering how come some ppl nvr understand certain things such as being an idiotic s0 doesnt make u popular or that was what i thought.... and other stuff u will nvr even think about.
This is bad as thinking makes u suffer from depression. Y? cos when u start thinking u coop to urself and den it leads to more thinking and eventually it leads to depression. Tata, k i m gg bonkers now, better go to sch soon!!!

2005-03-10T21:19:00.000+08:00

omg aik how could u spell your brother's name wrongly!!! Deren not darren...
Doing my stupid pp2 project rite now. Actually most of it has been done by my partner kevin, the programming genius but i felt v bad about not doing anything. So being assigned to do the cover page, im determined to do my best!!!!
Will be having my em3 cct tmr and i dont have any time to study, my time management skills sux. K due to time constraint, will blog more nxt time

2005-03-08T20:41:00.000+08:00

Im officially busy after weeks of slacking. Three tests this week including 2 tmr!!! Supposed to be studying rite now, however as i dono which chapters would be tested tmr here im waiting for my classmates to come online. Although i seem to be "gone case" type of person, i can assure you that i will try to do my best tmr for both ACCA and AEL.

2005-03-07T21:12:00.000+08:00

Finally that burning passion has returned!!! The passion to excel, to kick ppls butt and to stress ppl wahahaha. U muz be wondering if deren has juz became mad, but nope its juz that i feel the compelled to study once again. Self discovery can be put one side b4 my results slacken and it becomes too late for me to repair wat i has destroyed. Work has the highest priority cos it determines my future, so other things can wait. however having a headache now so better get some slp to prepare for the war tmr! JIA YOU

2005-03-06T21:56:00.000+08:00

Juz watch moulin rouge, it was so touching. To be exact i watched the last 30 mins since i was watching the new palm of ru lai. I juz love the song although i dont noe the title. As always all love stories had to have a sad ending and nicole kidman's character had to die. Well better not let others noe im a sucker for love story....

Anyway spent the whole afternoon at home again. Sometimes i wonder if i have a life at all, woke up at 6 am play ms juz to pq den at 10 went to watch tv followed by surfing the net. 11.30 play ps2 until 12.30 watch one piece, den back to ms until 6??? den watch tv until now. Some how i have no mood to study at all. Worse of all, i was not enjoying myself when i was playing those games.... its juz tt i needed something to do and thats the onli thing which did not require much brain power.

Mayb he is right, my life is empty and i do not have many frens. I wont deny that im not affected .... sigh dont even understand myself right now. Lost my old self, my will power, everything. Wish everything went back to the way it was.........

2005-03-05T21:59:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i really admire those ppl who blog their hearts out regardless of who may b reading their blog. One such person is my fren shawn,see him write paragraphs after paragraphs of his reflections and events everyday, i really feel ashame. Its not that i dont trust those ppl reading my blog but its juz tt i do have many deep dark secrets....

Kind of feeling super depress rite now, keep feeling i have no frens or a lack of frens. This extreme sadness constricts my throat making me unable to breath. Seriously i think i have moodswings during certain parts of the month, lol.

Well wats a blog for if u dont blog out wat u think??? haha.....

2005-02-26T10:12:00.000+08:00

CCT is over yay... wait a minute, it has been over for like 2 weeks??? LOL. Havent been blogging much for the past few weeks cos i juz did not have the mood. Somehow whenever i feel like blogging its always either extreme saddness or extreme anger. Well at least this time its neither. Somehow my results was not much different from my 1st sem cct

AEL - 100
ACCA - 97
EM3 - 99
PP2 - 100

But im not quite happy after learning my lesson from the previous sem after seeing the ADs slipping out of my fingers. So i should aim low shoot low.
Apparently my classmates wasnt happy over it, or should i juz say one of them, but who cares lol.
Think i should leave out the part bout the crush till nxt time bah ciaoz.

2005-02-03T13:19:00.000+08:00

Finally im able to access my own blog... For the pass couple of weeks i couldnt log in at all for no apparent reason.
Finally my cct is coming to an end with my last paper pp2 tom, woo hoo. However its the paper which i have the biggest prob wif. Mayb its due to the fact tt i have not been programming much except for my assignments. Overall i believe tt i wont b able to get the grade i expect due to too much slacking and last min work. Well, u reap wat u sow.
Cny is juz round the corner and its gg to be another boring one where by im stuck at home watching tv or mapling ^^.
{due to his state of blurness deren is unable to think of anything else to write}

2005-01-17T21:25:00.000+08:00

OMG time is flying by me once again. 2 weeks has just pass and my cct is coming in 2 weeks time. I have tons of projects to clear, countless theories to verify and infinite number of things to do. Okay i noe i tend to exaggerate a bit, but this is real. Moral of the story, dont play games. Matter of fact, dont even think of enjoying life.

Welcome to the adult world.

However, all is not lost. Nxt week is my study break. Since i have promise not to procrastinate any longer, i will start studying now even though i maynot study tomorrow. TATA

2005-01-03T07:44:00.000+08:00

Happy new year... oops im 3 days late lol. Anyway the purpose of today's post is not about the new year celebration anyway, its more about my new year resolution. (Btw i spent my new year eve at orchard spraying and being sprayed at)

For all the things i should have done and did not do which ppl expected me to do, i would like to appologise and tt i will do my best to do wat is expected of me.(too much do/ne) Since i have been playing maple story most of the time, which is 99% of the time im online, the 1% refering to guide and logging in/out of maple or msn, i did not have much time to think bout wat i want to improve about myself.

However one things is for sure, i want to be a better speaker, to communicate better, to listen more and stop trying to be a smart alec.Most importantly, i want to be more confident and to express myself better, and stop thinking bout i all the time since my ego have been inflating since dono when. After reading the first paragraph of the following article, i have already come to the conclusion tt im a bad listener since im guilty of many of the following pts. Its amazing how a gd listener can actually improve the relationship between two ppl be it friends or lovers. So i conclude tt besides the anually do well in school new year resolution, this is 2nd thing i hope to achieve.

LISTENING AND EMPATHY RESPONDING
Listening and empathy training
Listening and empathizing are essential skills when relating to others. Most of us spend 70% of the day communicating, 45% of that time listening. We all want to be listened to (but spouses talk only 10-20 minutes per day). It is insulting to be ignored or neglected. We all know what it means to listen, to really listen. It is more than hearing the words, it is truly understanding and accepting the other person's message and also his/her situation and feelings. Empathy means understanding another person so well that you identify with him/her, you feel like he/she does. The Indians expressed it as: "Walking a mile in another person's moccasins." It is listening so intently and identifying so closely that you experience the other person's situation, thoughts and emotions. Good therapists do this, so do good friends (Berger, 1987). How do good listening and accurate empathy help?
Purposes
· It shows you care and that you understood the other person. Thus, people will enjoy talking to you and will open up more.
· If you have misunderstood, the talker can immediately correct your impressions. You learn more about people.
· It usually directs the conversation towards important emotional topics.
· It lets the talker know that you (the listener) accept him/her and will welcome more intimate, personal topics. It invites him/her to tell his/her story and vent his/her feelings.
· Since it is safe to talk about "deep" subjects, the talker can express feelings and self-explore, carefully considering all his/her deep-seated emotions, the reasons for those feelings and his/her options. Thus, it is therapeutic.
· It reduces our irritation with others because we understand. To understand is to forgive.
· It may even reduce our prejudice or negative assumptions about others because we realize we now have a means of finding out what another person is really like. Furthermore, we discover everyone is "understandable."
· It fosters more meaningful, more helpful, closer friendships. Empathy is one of the more important skills you will ever acquire. It is amazing how few people do it well.
Steps
STEP ONE: Learn to be a good, active listener.
Listening requires us to, first, really want to know the other person and, second, avoid the many common barriers to careful listening, such as (1) constantly comparing yourself to the speaker (Who is smarter? Who's had it rougher? This is too hard for me.), (2) trying to mind read what the talker really thinks (Suppose he really likes his wife? He probably thinks I'm stupid for saying that), (3) planning what argument or story to give next, (4) filtering so that one hears only certain topics or doesn't hear critical remarks, (5) judging a statement to be "crazy," "boring," "stupid," "immature," "hostile," etc. before it is completed, (6) going off on one's own daydreams, (7) remembering your own personal experiences instead of listening to the talker, (8) busily drafting your prescription or advice long before the talker has finished telling his/her woes, (9) considering every conversation an intellectual debate with the goal of putting down the opponent, (10) believing you are always right so no need to listen, (11) quickly changing the topic or laughing it off if the topic gets serious, and (12) placating the other person ("You're right...Of course...I agree...Really!") by automatically agreeing with everything (McKay, Davis & Fanning, 1983). Because of these barriers, we typically retain for a few minutes only 65% of what is said to us (recall 2 months later is 25%). There is much room for improvement.
It is not easy to listen actively all the time. Our concentration lasts only 15-20 minutes. All of us get distracted at times. But the good listener gets back on track and asks clarifying questions when things aren't clear. Above all we must guard against prejudices, closed-minded opinions, defenses, and fears of being wrong which prevent us from hearing what is said. Furthermore, we must check what we hear against our knowledge of the situation and human nature. We should ask: How is the talker feeling and thinking about him/herself? How does he/she see the world? Finally, we must "listen to" the facial expression and body language as well as the words. Listening is a complex task. Listening can be done at twice the rate of talking, so use the extra time to review what was said and to wonder what wasn't said.
If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two mouths and one ear-Mark Twain
A good listener looks the talker in the eye, nods at and leans towards the speaker, encourages the talker with smiles and "uh-huh," carefully avoids distractions and the other barriers mentioned above, remains earnestly interested in understanding the talker and freely shares his/her own opinions and experiences when it is his/her turn to talk.
STEP TWO: Understand what is involved in empathy responding.
A good listener must respond, letting the talker know he/she was understood. This responding is empathy. It is even more complex than listening; no one is perfect. You don't have to be perfect, but the more accurate an empathizer you can become, the better. Often, when we are upset, we want to express and share our feelings with an understanding person. So, the good empathizer focuses on the talker's feelings, not on his/her actions or circumstances. Example: when talking with someone who has just been left by a lover, don't ask "What did he/she say?" or "When did you first suspect?" but instead attend to and reflect the feelings, "It really hurts" or "You feel abandoned and lost." This focus on feelings encourages the talker to explore the core of the problem--his/her emotions. When we are upset, we need to work through and handle our feelings before we can concentrate on solving the problems.
It is easy to see how the barriers to listening lead to poor empathy responses. The following scale will illustrate poor empathy responses and good ones (good responses include accurate reflection of what the talker just said and tentative comments that help the talker understand him/herself). You must have a clear conception of empathy before you can effectively use it, so study this scale well.
Levels of empathy responding
Level 1.0: Inaccurate reflection or distracting comments.
Changing-the-topic responses--a friend is complaining about a school assignment and you say, "There was a good movie on channel 3 last night."
"I know better than you" response--these are god-like pronouncements, such as "There's nothing wrong with you. You'll feel better tomorrow" or "The real problem is that your mother spoiled you" or "You are so in love, you can't see what a jerk he is."
Judgmental responses--a person tells you they had several beers last night and you say, "I hope you didn't drive afterwards--you could kill someone." (This may be a responsible reaction but it isn't empathic.)
Advising response--a 35-year-old tells you they are scared to go back to school and you immediately tell them what college to go to, what courses to take, what notebook paper to buy, etc.
Discounting and premature reassurance --a co-worker tells you that her husband didn't come home last night and you comment, "Oh, everybody has little spats, don't worry about it. He'll be home tonight." This is a little like saying, "Don't talk to me about it any more."
Psychoanalysis --a male friend describes his fear of getting married and you explain to him that he was too emotionally involved with his mother and that he is scared that a wife would dominate and smother him like his mother did. This may be true, but let him self-explore and discover it on his own.
Questions --a friend hints at some problem in his/her marriage and you start the inquisition, "Do you two talk?" "Do you go out?" "How is sex?" Questions control and guide the conversation (that's bad); let the talker tell his/her story in his/her own way. (On the other hand, questions that seek to clarify what the talker has just described are not controlling and encourage the talker to talk more.)
Telling your own story --your friend's problem reminds you of a similar experience which you share (that's not so bad, unless you forget to return to your friend's concern).
Most of us are guilty of some of these unempathic responses. A few poor responses occasionally are no problem, but many of us are instant reassurers and constant questioners. Many others of us divert attention away from any serious problem as soon as we detect it (that's fine for us to do with strangers, but it is terrible thing to do to a friend). Others of us seem to see every earthly problem to be a challenge to our intellect; thus, we dispose of our friends' problems in 5 minutes or, at least, during the coffee break. If the talker has a significant problem, it may take two or three hours--or much more--to help him/her.
Level 2.0: Correct understanding of some of the other person's feelings and circumstances, but other significant factors are misunderstood or overlooked.
Examples: at this level, the listener doesn't entirely understand the talker's feelings. This may discourage the speaker from expressing more feelings unless the listener clearly indicates an interest in clarifying exactly what the talker is experiencing. Suppose a colleague tells you how mad he is at the boss and you respond, "You feel like going in and telling her off" but he responds, "Oh, no, I'm mad but not stupid!" You failed to understand that the talker was also feeling helpless and afraid to disclose his true feelings to the boss. If you had been right and he had responded, "Boy, would I love to do that!," it would have been a 3.0 response.
Nichols (1995) says it is usually our emotional reactions to what has been said that causes our misunderstandings. Example: the talker says something that triggers our anger, insecurity, hurt, defensiveness, or other emotion (not necessarily related to the speaker), which distracts us.
Level 3.0: An accurate empathy response captures the essence of the talker's feelings.
You have put yourself "in their shoes." Your comments reflect exactly what the talker has told you. Be brief. Use simple words and your own words, called paraphrasing; otherwise, it may sound like you are thoughtlessly "parroting" him/her. In this way, the talker knows you are attending closely and that you care. It is important to realize that no one can be an accurate empathizer every time he/she responds. Thus, even the best therapists will average 2.5 or 2.7 on this scale. Be tentative, because empathy statements are really questions. For example, when you say, "You are feeling down" you are really asking "You are feeling sad, right?" When you are slightly off the mark, it isn't awful, it gives the talker a chance to immediately "set the record straight" and get you precisely in tune with him/her. So, it is important to make frequent comments reflecting your understanding of what has just been said. If the talker gets no comment from you for two or three minutes, he/she doesn't know "where you are at" and may conclude that you have lost interest, disapprove of what he/she is saying, or don't understand.
Example: if a friend calls and blurts out what a terrible day she has had--the car wouldn't start, co-workers were talking about her, she heard a rumor that her company was going broke, and she found out she has herpes--and you respond, "You really feel overwhelmed, like everything is out of control and going against you." If she says, "That's exactly how I feel," your comment was a 3.0 empathy response. If she says, "Well, frankly, I was pissed off all day and I'm still steaming," you get a 2.0 or a 2.2 rating although you made a good guess.
Level 4.0: Adding to the talker's self-understanding.
It is possible for an astute empathizer to understand (guess) what the talker is feeling even before the talker has recognized and/or expressed his/her own emotion. As soon as the empathizer questions if the talker might be feeling a certain way, the talker may readily recognize the underlying emotion and accept the interpretation. This can add greatly to the talker's insight, awareness or understanding of his/her feelings and the situation. It takes a while to know anyone well enough to give an insightful response. If you give an interpretation too soon it may seen too personal or critical and turn the talker off. Interpretations are always guesses, so be tentative: "Could it be..." or "I'm wondering if...."
Example: when a friend says, "I thought marriage would solve all my problems. I was so happy for a while but now everything is going wrong," you might respond, "Right now your marriage is causing you a lot of pain but marriage is so important to you that I'm wondering if it isn't really scary to think it might end?" The friend might tearfully respond, "You're so right. I remember what a terrible time it was for me when my parents divorced." (So, you made a 3.5 or a 3.8 response.) But he/she might say, "Oh, what a terrible thought. I don't want to think about that, so don't say something like that again." (Well, I really was off the track there, maybe a 1.5 or a 2.0 response.)
Level 5.0: Fantastic insight.
After knowing a person well for a long time, one may be able to provide some brilliant insight occasionally. Great insight is a rare event, however. Even highly skilled therapists spout profound, creative insights only infrequently. A 4.5+ response requires both an open-minded talker and a creative empathizer.
Example: if your roommate has had a series of love relationships which end about the time they are getting intimate and serious, you may have observed that all of the boyfriends have a striking similarity to her father who divorced her mother when she was 5. You might suggest that her association of her boyfriends with her father and rejection may make intimacy especially scary to her. If she agrees and decides to select a different kind of boyfriend or to recognize that this is an irrational association which she can deal with, you may have given a 5.0 empathy response. If she tells you to forget that "stupid psychology crap," you have a 1.5 response and some work to do to rebuild the relationship.

p.s. This is my longest post :P and sorry if i was too lazy to change the font for ur viewing pleasure.

2004-12-27T18:41:00.000+08:00

Xmas is over and now im waiting for the new year. Apparently, slacking time is coming to an end. Too bad, at least i had my share of slacking(playing maple story). Its time i made an effort to curb tt addiction and to concentrate on my studies. Some how due to my neligience, i missed out on one web tutorial and it has officially closed yest at noon. Wth, There goes my AD since i took up 2% of my marks. Watever, life is not about AD anymore to me. Juz wan to feel happy since lifes not about results all the time. Results only makes me lose my humanity as i feel indifferent to others.
As i was reading the newspaper a few days b4, i came across an article about a poor family which could not afford their own furniture and how their children wished they were 14 so tt they could work at mac to provide for the family. After that article was published, ppl actually donated items to them for xmas. Come to think of it, they are much more unfortunate compared to most of us. There was this line which caught my attention,"I'll help u, when you grow up help others in need". I mean how many Singaporeans actually help each other from the bottom of their hearts and not bcos they felt tt by doing tt it will actually make them feel much better and they will b able to brag about it. Worse of all ppl are so busy now adays tt they nvr bother to help others in need. They shun old folks who borrows a couple of cents to take a bus. In short, have most of us lost the compassion to help others??
In short wat i am trying to say is that singaporeans are getting more and more selfish, especially the youths since most of them cares about their own problems. Their fear of being cheated has turned them into heartless cold blooded creatures. Mayb im being too critical. If u wan to rebut feel free to leave your comment

2004-12-21T22:13:00.000+08:00

3 more days to Christmas, SOoooo happy. Although i will most prob be spending the day at home, mayb take . Cant seem to concentrate in school as my mind continues to wander aimlessly. Lost my voice. Aparently shouting really relieves stress. Especially when its full of vulgarities. Nvr knew i had tt violent side. Argh nvm better slp or else i wont b able to concentrate during tom lect and tutorial.

2004-12-18T18:43:00.000+08:00

Many uncertainties unlimited possibilities uncountable consequences. Learn to treasure today cos u may nvr know wat will happen tom. Cant find the right words to describe my situation and i dont wan to speak about it. But i shall be optimistic bout my future. Live a life dont let life live u.

2004-12-17T20:12:00.000+08:00

Feeling nervous now as my mind starts to conjure up thousands of scenario which would b happening in the nxt few hours. Wish that it would happen quickly and be over as i will finally try to solve my prob. The future seems uncertain as this familiar feeling creep back into my life. Its not something i like very much but no doubt, i have to face it. Am i taking things too hard??? Or is it worse than that...

2004-12-06T19:58:00.000+08:00

YAY sch reopen liao. Monday is slacking day lol due to the IS module haha. The IS lecturers are SO GOOOOOD. Not like last term ITA teacher. Anyway reached school today at around 8 plus although my class starts at 10 to buy books. Thank gdness i came early cos the queue outside the bookstore was sooooo long. I waited for more than 30 mins k. How dare they make me wait. Their system sux man. HaHA. Anyway my first lesson was the individual and the community (IAC). All bout discovering oneself. Kind of like studying psychology from wat the lect said Interesting.

The nxt lesson was oral com. At first glance the teacher was so dao. Dont even bother to smile and he kept quiet for arnd 10 mins. We were speculating bout his character. Imagine this, he had this nerdy look complete wif spects and he had his collar buttoned together. However as always the term do not judge a book by its cover applies. After 1 hr of his lesson, he has proven himself to be the lecturer of O Com. His every gesture and body language was able to appeal to his audience(us). Added wif a touch of humor, he clearly has mastered the art of communicating. Sure hope to learn how to communicate better wif others through this module and to gain confidence which is required to be a gd speaker.

Nxt up was sports and wellness. FINALLY!!!! After waiting for so long i am finally able to take part in wat i like most, SPORTS. Being the avid tennis fan i was, im sure u would have guess by now tt my first choice was tennis. Yup inspite of ppl telling me to rush to get my place as it was first come first serve, we still had to draw lots to determine who was able to take part since there were like 40+ ppl who wanted to join and 20 available places. I was so lucky to have got a place. And miraculously both my friend who wanted to take part in tennis oso happened to get in. Muahaha really looking forward to it.

Tomorrow im gg to my new class. The one wif the supposedly better than average results ppl in there. I really hope im able to cope (which is to not slack) LOL. My first impression of those guys were they sux. End of story. Im too judgemental rite. haha cannot blame as they were asking so many useless qns. Or is it bcos they were a threat to me. Anyway im still disappointed by my previous sem results. Esp after tt china man suan me by telling me he had 3 ADs for his 4 core modules. So wat. U R gg down.

Unfortunately i don think tts gg to happen. Cos i juz started to play maple story. It is "not" addicitive. Its "not" fun. Its "not" the later craze in town and "nobody" is playing it. K i think u get the idea. Anyway its better than gun bound =P.(Although i have not play it b4). Futher more its passive. Not like the stupid gunbound where u are stuck in one map trying to kill each other. So violent. Anyone who is playing MS pls add me at "believez" and "nered". Hope my results dont deteoriate bcos of this LOL. So pls ppl, dont blame me for being dao if i forget to put busy and does not reply until 2 hrs later.

Cant believe i actually wrote so much today wahahah.

2004-11-30T16:10:00.000+08:00

Love's Story

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived:

Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others including Love.

However, one day it was announced to the feelings that the island
would sink, so all prepared their boats and left. Love was the only one
who stayed.

Love wanted to stay until it started sinking. When Love was almost
sinking, he decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a beautiful boat. Love said,
"Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered, "No, I can't. There are a lot of gold and silver in
my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by, "Vanity, please
help me!"

"I can't help you Love. You are all wet and can probably damage my boat,"
Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with
you."

"Oh...Love, I am so sad that I prefer to go alone!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not
listen when Love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an
elderly. Love became very happy that he even forgot to ask the name
of the elderly.

When they arrived to the other side , Love asked Knowledge who the
elderly was. "It was Time."

"Time? But why did Time help me?"

"Because only Time is capable of understanding you...... Love."

P.S: Time is capable of solving anything. Things today may not
have a solution but tomorrow you will find one!

2004-11-29T09:26:00.000+08:00

1 more week to sch reopens. Should i feel happy or sad since i will b wishing for sch to close the moment it reopens lol. Juz felt tt i wasted my holi slacking at home.
Was reading the TODAY newspaper when i happen to chance upon a statement "singaporeans murder the english language". And it was made by a 4 yr old girl. OMG i shall not comment further cos im guilty of such a crime too. Thus i have decided to cut down on the use of lar lor liew sian etc... note keyword "cut down".

anyway singaporeans are so "creative". Wat do i mean by tt, well did u noe tt the word heaty was invented by singaporeans?? Bet u did not noe tt. Im sure tt there are many other words that were invented by Singaporeans. Mayb i should do some research.

2004-11-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

wat can i say, many things happened??? lol mayb someother day feel like describing den i start writing more bah. 2 more weeks and school is starting soon. Hurray since i feel so bored at home anyway. Mean while ppl are speculating about whether taufik or sly will win. it all roots down to the battle of the fans since the battle of the idols is cmi de. Juz jk don wack me k.

instead of stressing myself out bout the stupid time table of my nxt semester. (the NP administrative stuff sux man. I completed ITA and EG2 already k.) i decided to occupy myself wif more meaningful thoughts such as how do u define time. I mean the dictionary defines time as something tt is measured in secs mins and hrs. but it still doesnt make any sense to me. PPl are always saying till the end of time, but in fact does it actually exist? i mean if everything was destroyed is there still time??? for wat i would say. times like this i believe in god. Cos some one muz have made all this up lol. hmm k enough of useless thoughts for today lol

2004-11-19T22:20:00.000+08:00

siansation. Feeling really bored at home. Feel like a useless bum living a routine lifestyle- wake up eat play eat play eat play sleep nxt day wake up eat play eat play eat play slp ...........................
K so did some spring cleaning wif my mom today such a gd boy rite :X. After bout 1 hr it was back to need for speed again. Langa for bout 1/2 hr b4 complete one course.
Looks like its back to wishing for sch reopen b4 wherby i will wish for sch to close again... wahahaha "vicious cycle" .
K better go read bout the internet now

2004-11-18T01:22:00.000+08:00

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee, took out his driver, and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but bounced directly toward a water hazard.
Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and the ball rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee with a 3 iron and hit a beauty, straight as an arrow, directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the center of the pond on a lily pad. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.
The third guy got up with a sand wedge and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree.
From there, it bounced onto the roof of a nearby shack, rolled into the gutter, down the drainspout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a little stone and bounced out over the water and came to rest on the same lily pad that Jesus's ball had landed on.
Suddenly a very large bullfrog jumped up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. At that moment, an eagle swooped down, grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the talons of the eagle squeezed the frog and it dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup for a hole in one.
Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad."

2004-11-13T22:31:00.000+08:00

My world is once again in a mess. Juz as i thought things had stabled down and i had control over my life, things muz happen and ruin my peacefulness.
First felt quite happy bout my result. However due to my results, i have to change class to undergo training for WSS (World Skill Singapore). Some kind of "prestigious" competition whereby u "may" represent Singapore. Bunch of crap. However i was more interested in the fact tt we will b taught advance modules which may give us an advantage over the other students. Futhermore this class is made up of juz singaporeans... not tt i discriminate foreigners or anything like tt. However this would oso means making new friends, something im not gd at... sigh, and leaving my old friends. Really feel like crying although they would b celebrating my departure. Nvm humans resent changes for fear of the unknown, well might as well face my fears and overcome my weakness.
Anyway, in order to grief over my plight, i decided to buy more games to play. Yipeee. Need for speed underground rulez man. Overall its quite gd but i juz feed of the adrealine and swearing everytime my car langa. Found out im a poor driver cos it took me 20 tries b4 i completed the first race. Futhermore for the first race i was driving the best car. Thus highlighting my handicap.
Who would have thought this simple holi would have cause so much changes. Uncovering the many truths i nvr knew....

2004-11-12T09:50:00.000+08:00

Finally got my results back... although they were not v bad but i still kind of felt disappointed of it. I had always tot it would have been easy to get an AD but apparently i was wrong. Despite my frens consoling me a.k.a verbally abusing me wif all their vulgarities, i still did not feel satisfied sigh... nvm i shall let u all see my stupid results

MODULE CREDIT UNIT GRADE ATTEMPT
CREATIVITY THINKING SKILLS 2.00 B 1
DC CIRCUIT ANALYSIS 5.00 A+ 1
DIGITAL ELECTRONICS 5.00 AD 1
ELECTRONIC PRACTICAL SKILLS 1 2.00 AD 1
ENGINEERING MATHEMATICS 2 5.00 A+ 1
IT APPLICATIONS 2.00 A+ 1
PROGRAMMING PRACTICE 1 4.00 A+ 1
UNDERSTANDING WRITING 2.00 AD 1
FOR ACADEMIC APPL

Nvm i shall live wif my results and hopefully not commit suicide... sigh gg back to the main topic y is singapore so small??? Besides orchard road, there are no other interesting places where one can have fun... sigh. Kind of getting bored wif tt place too. So ppl, if u have any suggestions on where to go pls tell me thank you.

2004-11-11T14:41:00.000+08:00

Finally found the mood to blog... lol. So ppl, how do u find my new blog template??? Wif help from Amelia(million thanx). If u all have any comments or u juz find it irresistable to curse or swear at me, feel free to tag me.

Juz came back from a 4 days 3 night chalet. As only a few ppl turned up, it was quite boring. Imagine watching 9 movies in 2 days. Think u get the idea. Located at changi village, the bungalow was so creepy. Especially after watching the ghost movies i kind of became paranoid at every shadows and movements. Nothing interesting bah.

Juz super sian rite now on a public holi. Wonder how im gg to survive the rest of my holidays. Sian

chalet... yay

2004-11-06T14:49:00.000+08:00

at last finally can blog liao. Was about to blog last night but suddenly no internet connection. Tot server was down or something so i waited all night until i gave up and went to slp at arnd 1... Was supposed to beautify this blog too but too bad. Anyway when i woke up this morning, i found out tt it was due to my modem not being connected... wat the... haha this shows how blur i am.

Anyway tom there is a chalet... YAY no need to rot at home anymore. 4days somemore, but its at changi... sob sob so far away. Gd place to relax and have lotsafun. k guess tt will b all cya 4 days lata.

Rain Rain go away

2004-11-04T14:37:00.000+08:00

Sian its raining again, for the donno how many time. All plans have to b abandoned bcos god said so. Sigh if this carries on im gg to be depress soon. So juz another day, playing stupid lame and childish games, wondering wat to do tom. How bad can my holiday gets??
Wish school would reopen on jan instead of dec. How to study wif christmas round the corner and ppl having their holi. Well its the price to pay for coming to poly.
Well the rain has juz stop and a beautiful rainbow has juz appeared b4 me. Come to think of it, life is like the weather. One moment its raining, the nxt its clr. Only after experiencing rain do we treasure the clear weather. Only after surviving some catastrophy do we treasure the peaceful days ahead. Even if its juz a short while b4 another disaster strikes again. K im truly bored rite now, better procceed to hm b4 it starts to rain again .

i sux at badminton

2004-11-01T13:10:00.000+08:00

Juz came back from badminton wif my pro frens and its gg to rain soon... sob sob. Over all im not satisfied wif my performance although i won majority of the game, cos i lost most of the last few games. Underestimated SJ and wasted to much energy tackling wei yen, allowing Si Jun to take advantage of my fatigue. I mean how could i not catch those balls wif my agility?? haha bhb rite lol juz jk. NVM i shall learn from my mistakes and thrash him properly nxt time. First of all i muz find those experts to teach me first haha. Playing wif small kids is a big mistake as i only stay at tt lvl. WATEVER

K enough bout badminton, wat should i do today??? so bored, should i go pay my bills and go for a walk at hm?? This holiday is getting more boring by the minute... k enough for now

LaDD3R 49

2004-10-29T20:28:00.000+08:00

As the title suggest, i went to see ladder 49 today "yee pee". Although the show did not impress me at first, decided to go and catch it wif my da jie as she was so enthu haha... Muz b due to watching too much "lie huo xiong xin". Anyway met da jie at ps den went for lunch at burger king where we were gossiping bout the metro times and other things...

Well for those who r not interested in ladder 49, i have 1 thing to say, don judge it by its title. I found it quite humourous in the beginning few scenes, especially the father scene LOL. However as the show progresses, it was more bout the heroics of the firemen as they continue wif their jobs to save ppl despite witnessing the deaths of their fellow colleagues. The ending was kind of sad too, almost cried. (Emphasis on the almost). In conclusion , this movie actually reminds us how noble firemen are. My impression on those lazy buggers completely changed and i shall worship them from this day onwards....k mayb for a couple of months. I shall give it 3 out of 5 bites. *MUNCH *MUNCH *MUNCH.

FACT OF THE DAY: Deren is a boring guy so don even think bout asking him out... haha jkjk i shall improve on my humour to make it colder ;P

Christmas in 1 months time- sian

2004-10-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

ok ok christmas is still a long way to go but it kinds of remind me how times fly.... still remember last christmas when i went out wif 2 of my frens sj and derrick. Roaming through orchard road wif no plan in mind. 3 lonely boys doing nothing in particular... come to think of it it was quite lame, and now all of a sudden its gg to b christmas again.
Donno if i should dread it anot cos it will b another lonely experience, mayb roaming orchard again or go downtown east. Who noes i still have 1 month so muz make full use of my time.
Nothing much to post juz tt life is boring after exams, so ppl if got outing muz call me out hor lol. Mayb i should take this time to find a job and grow fatter and earn more money and learn more skills and......... well this is wat i intend to do. emphasis on the "intend".
seems to me everybody blogs are getting more and more fanciful such tt i kind of feel ashame of my laziness. Juz don feel the need to make my blog so fanciful/ However will try my best to pick up html so tt can diy.
Mayb i should concentrate on the content rather than the outlook. Make it more interesting.
Deren funny? haha don think so but lame sure can. till nxt time

Almost sick

2004-10-19T21:28:00.000+08:00

Ah!!! spliting headache... sounds resonating in my head. Cant take it anymore. When will my crappy exams finish?? 2 down 2 more to go how i wish this fri would pass quickly... den wat?? die no plans for holi lol anyone got plan anything pls remember bout this bored guy here .

2nd wave die.... tk gdness tom no exam or else die. Y bother stressing myself over such an exam whereby almost everybody can get 100 sigh. Donno y hav been thinking bout irrevalent things at the wrong time recently. Juz wan to forget bout everything, protect myself from disappointment.

sometimes ppl get bored if one nags too much, so enough for today lol

Lifes changing

2004-10-17T13:16:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 11 juz now...... well im kind of getting use to waking up late nowadays cos im getting lazy haha. Yest was quite a long day for me as i woke up at 5.30 due to my stupid EG2 exam at 9 ... turned out tt the exam was crappy easy, only prob was scoring as there was bound to b tons of mistakes. after tt went to the library to photocopy some past yr papers to do wif jw... spent almost half an hour trying to explain to him bout comparator but failed terribly trying so lol.... looks like i can nvr b a teacher. Well another one hour bus ride home later and i was headed for dhoby ghaut wif cs and jy to do donno wat.... went arcade den walk to the heeren and bought a cap
OMG cant believe i was able to part wif 25 bucks for a cap. thinking back at it i was kind of stupid. after tt we happen to pass by wisma atrium where there was an OP sale. bought a short for 20 bucks.... ah getting more and more spendrift. Nxt stop was yoshinoya where the stuff were ever friendly, finding seats for ppl(don see them doing tt in mac). Soon cs had to go teach his juniors chem, den me and jy went to meet alex. Den we were back to dhoby ghaut and having a seep at star bucks. chatted till 1 plus b4 we took night rider home.

Come to think of it, lifes really been changing or should i say ive been changing haha. From the quiet blur always kana bully type to the boh chup heck care shooting ppl kind. Is it a gd thing or a bad thing??? Who noes but one things for sure, im spending too much on clothes. AH!!!! muz stop buying clothes. K crap too much liao haha wish all the ppl having exams gd luck and don give up lol.

HaPpY BdAy To Me LOL

2004-10-10T21:31:00.000+08:00

WooHoo yest was my 17th bday although i did not celeb much yest.. haha. Went to play pool wif rick cs warren jaimes and kc den played winning 11 and dai dee at my house b4 tt. Was quite fun though....
Went out today wif metro frens (rr yuki jy alex) to kbox cine... tot was juz an outing but turn 0ut it was a surprise belated bday celebration.... was pleasantly shock haha. Met at orchard cine den went to eat at long john (as usual) . The food there ah, really pathethic lor... two small pieces of fish and barely 20 pieces of fries OMG.......... Tot long john was closing down liao hahahah
After tt den we went to kbox to sing ... the 5 hours seemed like 10 hours today donno y so almost slept. Den suddenly one cake came in and they sing happy bday. Was stun den at first was thinking who they singing to LOL . Bought me the "favourites " album for my bday present and a bday cake wif the mashimaro figuring so cute haha.
Too bad we finished at 7 as yuki and alex need to go den rr went home.
In the end it was still fun as my exams loom closer and closer sian den still no mood to study sigh haha

CrAzY BuT HaPPy

2004-10-05T20:41:00.000+08:00

OMG cant believe i actually bought $190 worth of clothes today!! Some of u muz b gg CHEY ... haha but for me heart both happy and breaking LoL...
Juz found out i hav virtually no creativity and taste in clothing haha... watching my frens picking and matching those clothes for me, i was like stun as i usually enter and exit a shop in less than 5 mins without bothering to go thru cos so pai seh haha
Anyway today my fren almost tore up the shop trying to match clothes for me haha feel so xing fu ... was like an extreme make over haha thn gdness the shop keeper was a nice man and kind of helpful too

4 more days.... donno if anyone will remember haha ... forget oso nvm will remind u the lol so bhb rite haha . after tt hav to start to chiong study liao tom still got ppl mcq sure die sia nvr touch books for 3 weeks liao
When will the sum 41 single b coming out?? wait until sian liao sigh k lar don write too much liao though the world is unfair, i chose to b happy. wish u would b happy too

Moon cake festival!!

2004-09-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

FACT OF THE DAY: U CANT LICK UR ELBOW, YES BOTH UR ELBOW.

yay today is mooncake fest, however i only manage to eat 1 mooncake.... sob sob. No choice cos past few days sore throat den parents finish all liao haha. The moon is exceptionally round today(obviously) as i feel exceptionally happy, muz b the effect of the moon.

Today was a fun day as i only attend 3 out of 6 hours of my class heehee. Not tt i pon class but class nothing to do lor... Maths lesson finish all the online stuff liao so we get to do our own stuff. Den the lesson b4 was practical test, after which i went to play bball !! Oh crap, my jeans was totally soaked although we managed to win wahahah... however will make a point to bring extra clothes nxt time i exercise, or else will pollute the bus.

Oh gosh i still haven finish my power point although its due on saturday, further more i still have to create a website AH!!!! cant take the stress, think will sleep early and do tomorrow ... byeeeee

2ND FACT: 9 OUT OF 10 PPL WILL TRY TO LICK THIER ELBOW AFTER READING THE FIRST FACT.

badminton rox

2004-09-26T01:35:00.000+08:00

Woohoo had a great game of badminton today, thrash the hell out of the old uncles... Shouldnt had made them run so much... oops. Sound pro rite, actually i sux lar haha juz plain old B.S. Went to library to borrow books on html to beautify my blog today , however borrowed the wrong book on Javaserver pages which is more on the continuation of html, so guess i will b putting off the designing of my blog. Oh gosh when will i finally finish my power point proj? Mayb i should put in less effort since the teacher sux haha.... Exam is in 3 weeks time yet im here slacking sigh.

Think not of wat others think of you, but wat u think of others

Munch munch munch

2004-09-22T20:30:00.000+08:00

Y is it so hard to grow fat? Been eating alot since school started yet i hav only put on like 1 kg??
oh gosh how am i gg to grow fit this way? Muz b thinking deren fit....... yar rite. k freedom of tot so waaaatever. Is it juz me or are the modules getting tougher? Whoever said poly life was slack muz b crazy. k lar not as hectic as jc but still quite siong lar. ESP the pace its gg at. sigh so many projs and things to study. K gtg

inner demons

2004-09-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

Had a crappy badminton game today, not worth mentioning. Mayb im getting lousier or else........... Anyway went studying today wif my frens at Mac. Kind of reminds me of the o level period where i used to hav so much fun studying, or should i say playing? Well it was quite diff cos this time it was really studying as i force myself to do those useless maths prob for my coming test. I hate drawing those graphs!!!! All in all, it was time quite well spent i think.

This sickening feeling juz seem to b bonded with me as deep down inside i noe tt i will nvr 4get. It may hide 4 awhile yet it will always reappear to haunt me. Whoever said time will solve everything was obviously a fool. Filled wif anger and resentment, each day passes till the end of my life will i b freed from this endless torment.

2004-09-15T18:29:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt tt time seems to b travelling at different speed during different part of your life? Mayb it has something to do wif relativity? anyway for those of u who do not believe in god, here is some food 4 tot.

We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many different languages. The child knows someone must have written those books . It does not know how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn't know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God. We see a universe marvelously arranges and obeying certain laws, but only dimly understand these laws. Our limited minds cannot grasp the mysterious force that moves the constellations.

Moving on

2004-09-08T01:09:00.000+08:00

Some how it seems tt i hav a habit of being stuck in the past... it has been like tt since i was young. Qns of wat if i had not done this or tt keeps bugging me, till the extent tt i'm neglecting the present. Well its no use reminiscing bout the past.

On my way home on the bus today, i happen to seat beside a couple at the back seat. OMG they were actually kissing in public and they dont even seem bothered at all.... the whole journey i was pretending not to look. Looks like s'pore is getting more open....

its so late time to get some sleep zZzZzZz......

Time

2004-09-05T12:00:00.000+08:00

As seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hour
i stood there wondering why
a painful void in my life
sigh

Bu zhi shuo cuo

2004-09-02T15:54:00.000+08:00

Finally received my test results, did resonably well as the test was so easy haha. DEL -100, DCCA-100, PP1- 97, EG2-98. Well not much of an accomplishment as most of my classmates got 90++ marks too....sigh.

NP has this stupid SARS activity whereby everyone has to get their temperature taken and paste a stupid sticker. We still hav to get our temperature taken twice a day, so troublesome. Den whenever we wan to enter the Atrium still hav to scan our student card. Thank gdness this preparation is for today only (I think).

Anyway, i am beginning to develope an interest in tennis after seeing the recent tennis matches in the olympics. Carlos Moya is so gorgeous!! haha i'm not gay btw... but its the fact. However the tennis rackets are so EX...... over $80 sigh no money. Frens keep telling me to go buy the tennis racket sold in carrefour at $4.50 each, but isnt it a bit unreliable?? Time to go exercise bb.

Happy hahaha

2004-08-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

Woo Hoo my common test is finally over. Happy Happy hahaha enjoyed myself thoroughly sia. rush all the way back to play basketball after my test at around 10 at pcc . well guess wat, i hav finally grip the rim wahahaha. U guys must b wondering "Finally ". Anyway, i still lost all my games sob sob, must put in more effort haha.

The dao person has finally reply ... however i am at a lost of words haha. With the pressure eased, its time for me to keep up wif my schedule sigh so busy. To end things off, here is the joke of the day. Don give me tt type of face pls

A wild dog is running through the jungle. While wandering about he notices a leopard heading in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The dog thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep trouble now."Then he sees some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, andhe slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly had me."Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, he goes chasing after the leopard. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks," What am I going to do now?"But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet.And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!"

Sick and tired

2004-08-26T20:25:00.000+08:00

Oh juz another boring day for me, eat sleep s**t etc haha. went to play badminton wif kc this afternoon cos no one was free..... well can i expect on a weekday. One more test to go, however after tt its school reopen 'sigh'... life is so sian. Hope tomorrow will b better. Below is juz wat i hav been thinking bout the past couple of days, enjoy.

This world is full of lies, deception, manipulation and discrimination. The poor, disabled, ugly are despised by ppl. Doesnt ppl hav any empathy anymore?? Mayb i'm a bit pessimistic, but this is how i portray my world to b.

Is there such a thing as a true frenship? Ppl are only making use of each other, manipulating each other to their own advantage, to gain benefits, to entertain themselves. Is this wat frenship is about?? Humans are selfish creatures, no doubt about tt. But is there a need to take advantage of ppl juz as they are feeling emotionally weak? Well i hav frens who accept me juz to make up the no.s in their group, to listen to them complain about this and tt but they do not give a damn bout anything i say. (Pls do not take offence, i'm not toking bout u!) Haha but life still goes on, whether i like it or not. So to ppl out there treasure your frens, dont juz take advantage of them otherwise its juz better for them nvr to have known u.

My First Entry

2004-08-22T14:32:00.000+08:00

After contemplating for a long period of time, i hav finally decided to start my own blog haha. Although no one will b reading it ....... anyway today was kind of a boring day for me .Well i am a boring person after all so not much of a surprise lor. Went to play bball with kc in the morning and badminton in the afternoon cos i was feeling hyper today. PP test is on monday and i am still so slack.... feel like studying yet hav no determination "sigh"

Been feeling moody for the past few days wondering about my existance on this planet if i ever played a significant part in any one life. Haha think too much liao ... should juz get some sleep ZZZZ.

Signing out from the boy who think too much